Being a fat woman with c-ptsd, power is essential. Walking out the door in the world means I need to feel prepared, I need to feel safe and I need to feel powerful. I’ve recently started thinking about what objects make me feel empowered. How do I adorn my body, what does my armor look like, and what are my rituals?
Give me a cheek or give me death! There is nothing I love more than a sunny, cut cheek. I am that bronzer bitch. My two favorites are the Physician’s Formula Butter Bronzer, which smells delicious and The Balm’s Betty-Lou Manizer for that extra glowy cheek. I keep the butter bronzer in my bag for touch up’s that I probably don’t need, but the scent of coconuts and the ritual of my lunch bronze up is just the pick me up I need.
People LOVE to hate on selfies. I find them to be a great source of empowerment. I am all about the ego, baby! Especially when you don’t fit into society’s beauty ideal. The white cis man rules the world and he decides what we see. I want to see the camera turned on someone else. I don’t care about the beauty ideal! My god, it’s so boring and fully unattainable! Take those selfies, my cherubs. Let’s see some representation.
I set the vibe of my day with my choice of lip. How do I want to feel? Alluring? Fierce? Unapproachable? Pam nude or Marilyn red? (Let’s be real, I’m a Pam girl.)
Portable Safe Space or Altar
I made this in a women’s survivor group. It’s an old Altoid box and I glued in fabrics, dried roses, beads and little shells. I even spritzed in some lavender. The night I made it, I lit a black candle for protection and a white candle for cleansing. I said a spell/prayer for safety and protection and I let it sit under the moon. I now keep it closed in my bag so I can carry it with me. Often times I leave it in there untouched, but on the harder days I pull it out, say the same spell, and take a deep breath. This is a great tool for grounding.
Ah, what magic! My collection of stones is constantly growing. The majority of them live on my altar in my room, but when the mood hits I will pick out different stones to carry in my bag or pocket with me. Any one that calls to me. The stone in my bag today is smokey quartz to banish negativity and keep me grounded.
What objects hold power for you? What are your personal pieces of empowerment?
Ultimately, there is nothing more empowering than raising each other up.
Photo of Anjelica Houston and Jerry Hall in 1985